- some amount of Ron Cartavio
- some other amount of room-temperature (haha, “room”, I mean ambient jungle temperature) Coke
- slice of lime
Mix the rum and Coke to taste. Light the candles and/or turn on your headlamp. Wait for moths and other nocturnal insects to swarm around the lights. If you’re lucky you’ll spot a Peruvian giant cockroach! Eventually a moth will land in your drink. Make sure you rescue it ; it’ll probably dry off and fly into a candle later (the moth, not the drink). The moth’s wing scales will leave a nice powdery residue on the surface of your drink. Enjoy.
Really Dirty Martini
- gin (or vodka if you’re one of those types)
- empty plastic bottles (pop bottles will do)
Transfer gin and olives to plastic bottles so you don’t have to worry about broken glass while you hike them to your field site. After a few days in the field, during which you don’t bother to wash out your coffee/tea/hot cocoa mug, pour yourself some gin and add a few olives and maybe some olive juice. Enjoy the taste of grime and coffee residue combined with the ultimate in classy cocktails.
The Best Way to Eat Peanut Butter
- jar(s) of peanut butter—whatever kind you like
Eat the peanut butter right out of the jar with the spoon. Duh.
Oatmeal: Breakfast of Field Techs
- bowlful of rolled oats. Remember, real men don’t eat “quick oats”.
- boiled water
- brown sugar or honey
- any other flavour-containing edible thing you can possibly find, such as peanut butter, hot sauce, haupia (coconut pudding) powder, walnuts, fish sauce, cheese, soy sauce…
Dump any rat turds or dead bugs out of your bowl. Add oatmeal. Pour boiled water over oatmeal until everything looks soggy enough. Add other ingredients. Repeat every single morning for the entire field season. See how long it takes before you put hot sauce on it, and how long before you would rather just not eat at all.
*Weird coincidence: Manu was the name of the park in Peru where I took my first bird job…and it’s also the Hawaiian word for bird!